


Soulmate AU

by d2fmeasurement



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 09:13:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3845359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d2fmeasurement/pseuds/d2fmeasurement
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where the name of your soulmate appears on your body when you're 13.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soulmate AU

Bertram Gilfoyle.

The tattoo that had appeared on Dinesh’s arms when he turned 13 looked more like a random mess of English letters than a name. After staring at it for a minute, he hurried to his computer to look it up and find out what kind of name this was. A quick search revealed that Bertram was a German name and Dinesh started picturing hot European chicks, but then he noticed the words “boy’s name.” He looked through all his search results and the phrase “boy’s name” kept appearing. Dinesh felt sick and wondered how he would explain this to his parents.

As he grew up, Dinesh threw himself into school. He went out of the country for college, eager to get away. Things hadn’t been the same with his family since the day a boy’s name had appeared on him. He hadn’t shown the mark to anyone outside his immediate family. He always wore long sleeves and changed the subject whenever people started talking about their soulmates.

He felt like he was even hiding the mark from himself. He’d gotten in the habit of averting his eyes from it and often he would keep a long-sleeve shirt on even when he was by himself, no matter how hot it was. He couldn’t imagine being one of those people who stared at their soulmates name when they needed comfort. For him, the name ‘Bertram Gilfoyle’ had just become a source of stress and discomfort.

It was a strange name that made him feel strange. It made him think of all the assumptions people would have about him if they knew he had a man’s name on his body. Unfair assumptions that were hoisted on him before he ever got to discover himself.

It was a rare name that made him feel like his chances of love were rare. He got used to only caring about work. As he got older, he watched other people become more experienced with dating while he became more and more intimidated by the entire concept. The strangeness of the name Bertram Gilfoyle started to become a comfort. He told himself there was no chance of actually meeting this person, and therefore no chance of him ever having to deal with the fact that he, apparently, liked men.

Bertram Gilfoyle was just a statistical impossibility. Until he wasn’t.

“Welcome to the house,” Erlich told Dinesh as he led him through.

“Thank you. It’s nice to be here,” Dinesh said. He was excited to throw himself into his work. He was excited to spend his days in his room in Erlich’s incubator, alone. It was how he worked best. No need to worry about anyone else, especially–

“This is Gilfoyle, he lives here too,” Erlich said as they walked by Gilfoyle’s room.

Dinesh blinked. “What was that name?”

“Gilfoyle,” Erlich repeated.

“Is that his first name or his last name?” Dinesh asked.

“You know, I’ve never asked,” Erlich admitted.

“Last name,” Gilfoyle said, walking over to them and leaning against the door frame. “Don’t ask about my first name. It’s stupid.”

“Worse than Gilfoyle?” Erlich asked. “What could be worse than Gilfoyle?”

Dinesh ran his eyes over Gilfoyle’s arms. Right below the cross on Gilfoyle’s arm, he saw his own name, written in Urdu characters. “What, um…what are those tattoos?” he asked.

“That’s an upside down cross. I’m a Satanist,” Gilfoyle told him. Dinesh wrinkled up his nose at that bit of information. “And then below that is my soulmate mark. I don’t know what the fuck it says.”

“Do you even know what language that is?” Dinesh asked him.

“No idea,” Gilfoyle said casually.

“Don’t you want to know? I mean, it’s your soulmate’s name. You’ve never tried to find a translator?”

“I think if someone’s actually my soulmate, I’ll know them when I see them. Enjoy hanging out with them, think they’re hot. That kind of thing. I don’t really care so much about the mark.”

Dinesh stared at this strange man and felt more certain than ever that he would absolutely never know love. They were clearly both flukes that the universe was just messing with.

Every moment with Gilfoyle felt tense. Every little thing hurt. When Gilfoyle yelled at him about eating the last of the cereal. When Gilfoyle shoved him and demanded shotgun on road trips. And especially when Gilfoyle had girls over and Dinesh had to see the way he looked at them.

He knew that these moments were completely insignificant to Gilfoyle and he hated the fact that only Dinesh had to feel the full weight of them, just because he knew English. He would love to be able to see his mark as just a random series of syllables and never think twice about it. Why did Gilfoyle get to be so lucky? 

The moments when they weren’t getting along hurt. But what was absolutely excruciating was the moments when they were getting along. The moments that almost allowed Dinesh to think that maybe their marks weren’t flukes.

One night, they ended up playing a videogame until late in the night. When they finally set their controllers down, they both leaned back sleepily and their shoulders touched for a moment before Dinesh scooted away. Gilfoyle started joking about how awkward Richard, the new guy in the house, was and Dinesh laughed and joked back. Everything felt nice and almost right. Dinesh leaned back and let their shoulders touch once again. He wondered if he should tell Gilfoyle everything.

But then he thought about Gilfoyle’s words: I think if someone’s actually my soulmate, I’ll know them when I see them. Gilfoyle wasn’t making a move and Dinesh knew his feelings were one-sided.

The next morning, he decided he couldn’t live with this anymore. Gilfoyle wasn’t interested in him and it was time to embrace the fact that his mark was a meaningless mistake.

“Erlich,” Dinesh asked in a soft whisper. “Do you know anything about soulmate mark removal?” He knew it was a huge taboo, but he was ready to go to extremes just to feel free.

Erlich looked at him with surprise. “That shit is too out there for me,” he said. “But I’m sure Gilfoyle knows about that kind of stuff.”

“I don’t want Gilfoyle involved in–”

“Gilfoyle!” Erlich called out. “Dinesh wants to find a place willing to do soulmate mark removal.”

Gilfoyle walked into the kitchen and looked at Dinesh with surprise. “Okay,” he said. “Pack an overnight bag. We can go now. Erlich, can we borrow your car?”

“To go do something shady? No way,” Erlich said.

“I’ll give you 20% of my app instead of ten,” Gilfoyle said.

“Deal.” Erlich handed over the keys.

When they were in the car, Dinesh said, “That was really nice of you, giving up shares in your app just to do me this favor. Why are you helping me?”

“Getting soulmate marks removed is pretty strictly forbidden,” Gilfoyle said as he drove. He looked over at Dinesh and said, “I didn’t think you had that in you. I like it.”

Dinesh felt a warmness that he tried to ignore.

“What’s so wrong with your soulmate mark?” Gilfoyle asked.

“It’s, um…it’s a man’s name,” Dinesh said, deciding he didn’t care if Gilfoyle made fun of him for this.

“And you don’t think you’re gay?” Gilfoyle asked.

“I don’t know, I just…I guess I don’t like that before I’d even thought about anyone in that way, this stupid mark shows up just telling me that I have to be with a guy,” he said. “And now all it does is remind me of bad memories. Like my parents getting all weirded out and disapproving, like I can help whose name shows up on me.”

Gilfoyle nodded in understanding. “Are they religious? Your parents?”

“Yeah,” Dinesh said. “They’re Muslim.”

“I know what that’s like,” Gilfoyle said. “Not being Muslim. Religious parents. It’s the fucking worst.” He glared straight ahead and tightened his grip on the wheel in a way that made Dinesh think this was much bigger, more intense issue for Gilfoyle than it was for him. “Do you know anything about your soulmate? Other than the fact that he’s a dude, apparently?”

Dinesh hesitated and then said, “Yes. I met him.”

“And?”

“The idea of being with a man has always been so intimidating to me, it’s like all I can imagine is this sort of mysterious shadow-y figure. And then I actually met this person and…He’s a real guy, obviously, but he’s basically as close to being that intimidating, mysterious shadow as a real person can be. He makes me feel like I was right to be scared, I guess.”

“And you’ve never tried anything with him?”

“You mean, like…sexually?” Dinesh asked.

“Yeah. I mean, he’s supposed to be your soulmate, you’ve never tried kissing him?”

“I could never do that,” he said. “There are…moments…when I’d like to. But, the whole idea of being with him, it’s very...”

“Intimidating. Right. You said that,” Gilfoyle said. “What about other guys?”

“What about them?” Dinesh asked.

“Have you ever tried kissing them? Just to see if…you know. Maybe there’s an upside to the whole being destined to be with a guy thing.”

“I’ve never tried it,” Dinesh said. “With a guy or girl. I guess I was waiting because I hadn’t met my soulmate and now I’m scared to with my soulmate because I’ve waited to so long.” He sighed, feeling like he was a total mess and he could understand why Gilfoyle wasn’t interested.

Gilfoyle pulled over, to the side of the highway.

“What are you doing? Are there cops after us?”

“We haven’t done anything wrong yet,” Gilfoyle reminded him.

“Oh right," Dinesh said, shaking his head. "So, what are you doing?”

“Do you want to kiss me?” Gilfoyle asked. Dinesh stared at him. “I thought you might want to get it out of the way. See if it’s really as scary as you think.”

“…okay.” Gilfoyle leaned in and Dinesh slowly let his lips touch Gilfoyle’s. It wasn’t at all like Dinesh’s lifelong fear of a mysterious shadowy man. It was loving and sweet and gentle.

Gilfoyle pulled away. “Was that awful?”

“No,” Dinesh said. “It was nice.”

“It was nice for me too,” Gilfoyle said. He looked down at Dinesh and said, “Really nice.” Dinesh kissed him again and then lightly ran his fingers over the writing on Gilfoyle’s arm. “Do you know what language that is?” Gilfoyle asked him.

Dinesh nodded slowly. “It’s Urdu. It’s the language we use in Pakistan.”

“And it says Dinesh Chugtai?” Gilfoyle asked him.

Dinesh looked up at him with surprise. “How did you know that?”

“Because of how I felt when I kissed you,” Gilfoyle told him.


End file.
